my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my being single is dangerous.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
