Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
