her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
