You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
