im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
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I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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