the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
