I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
