who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize