For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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