Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
her vagine was all disorganized.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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