too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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