My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
