I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
