On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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