Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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