Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
