If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there was a trapeze. enough said
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
