this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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