is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
