If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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