You were right. It hurts to walk today.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize