my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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