I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
