He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
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In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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