im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
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no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
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A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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