neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We left the knife in your bed.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
