I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
