There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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