I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize