dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
