My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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