i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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