It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize