yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
