My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
