I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize