Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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