ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
