she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
