I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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