This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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