The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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