Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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