i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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