No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
