Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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