they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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