This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
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she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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