Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
