Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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