Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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