Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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