This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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