My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
ttyl tear gas
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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