My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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