Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
