Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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