Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize