i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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