I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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